Silence of the Garden

 This year, we planted seeds indoors in a tray during February to see if they would sprout. We attached a grow light above the little seeds and a warming mat beneath them. 

When timing the grow light, it said in the directions: plants need darkness to grow.

And as I researched tips and tricks online, there it was: it's during the dormant nighttime hours that plants accomplish most of their growth for the next day.

Now April, I am often out in my garden preparing beds and planting seeds for the coming season. I will pause during my planting and take time to feel the silence of the seeds newly pressed into the earth, and the baby trees establishing their roots in the side yard, and the new grass covering the bare patches in the lawn. Through the heart, we feel all the subtle energy of growing things. Plants grow in silence, plants live in silence. Most of the life on this planet grows and exists in complete silence. When I sit with my dog and my cat indoors, we sit in silence, on the floor or on the couch, together, no other interaction necessary.

And when we are together, I think to them, Do you remember when we used to be One? Before the body, before this life, when we were all just an ocean of purity.

In Heaven, there is a great and powerful silence, and all communication begins and ends through the heart.

Souls are no different than seeds. The soul needs silence to grow. It is during the darkness and the quiet that we settle deeper into ourselves. Take a man out of society for three days, place him in isolation in the wilderness, and he will run back to the city, unable to sit with himself. It is the man who can sit in silence who is the spiritual man.

If we cannot sit with God, we cannot live with God.

This haven in the Heart where the Mother dwells is an oasis of the silence of growing things.

Spirit, Prana, Chi

It has now been 9 months since I began my meditation practice. The transformation of my internal state is difficult to describe, at once gentle and subtle, yet powerful and pervasive, to the extent that all areas of my life are transformed. My mind has become settled; my thoughts easy to direct. My emotions are further under my control. I'm recovering very clear memories of childhood--even dreams I had in childhood--that I haven't thought about in years. These memories will bubble up to the surface of my thoughts at random, while I am focused on a task at work, or gardening, or doing chores.

I remember a time when I could hardly remember anything before I turned 21!

I billow up into joy and bliss throughout the day, overcome by waves of unity, awe, and peace; and if a negative thought enters me, I quickly allow it to pass through, without clinging or identifying with that thought. It is easier now more than ever to forgive and forget.

In this state, we live with a strange kind of forgetfulness. It's easy to forget the troubles of the world when we are so comfortably settled in the peace of the Now. It is like sitting next to the fountainhead of a pure spring, with water constantly bubbling up from the depths of the heart, which is Life itself, and brings health to the mind and body. 

 Although I was already aware of God's Presence in the world as the unitive Self, through meditation, I'm finding myself made more aware of the subtle energies that govern the internal and external realms. Many small epiphanies flow through you. This existence may be One, but is beautifully complex and layered. It is truly as St. Teresa of Avila said: "In this prayer of union, God deigns to teach the soul, though it knows not what passes there. It is beyond comprehending." 

One of these early epiphanies was the realization that only the internal world is real. This is an inverse to how we perceive the world in society, where we think of only the external world as "real," and our internal world is somehow "imaginary" or "unreliable." But in Truth, only what is internal can be known to exist. I don't know the substance of the desk in front of me; I can see it and touch it, but I don't know it. Nor do I know the thriving reality of the plant in the vase; I can water it and prune it, but I can't know it. 

But I can know myself--I can know my own existence, my own substance--as much is self evident to me. On that, I can be sure. I Am, and from that knowing, all else must follow. I can know the true make of myself by going inside and dwelling for a time in peace, without the disruption of thought, upon the golden light of the heart. I know this Self by going deep into my heart, where the Source of all Life is quietly thriving in Its power and serenity.

I have also come to understand the body as a tuning rod--an instrument evolved and designed to channel this divine energy that we carry within us. It is the energy of the Self that enlivens us. God is Spirit; the Self is One Essence; the Mother is Tao. The body is created to manifest this energy that is God's perfect spirit. And in fact, all spiritual practice is toward the manifestation of God's Spirit through our own physical bodies. We can call this practice "energy cultivation."

Meditation is energy cultivation.

It is not my energy I am cultivating and manifesting. It is the Mother Herself, the Light of Lights, shining through my being into the world, creating endless ripples of cause and effect, creating form, impacting everything from the flow of time to the shape of matter and thought. She is the pebble in the lake, from which all ripples arise. She is also the lake. She is also the ripple. That is the Self.

I do not cultivate my energy. I cultivate Her Spirit. I channel Her manna; Her love; Her power. It is not me, but She who does all things through me. Nothing in this life is my own; not the writing of books or the creation of art, nor the gift of love. All is from Her. That is the first thing we must realize about energy cultivation--it is not your own energy you are cultivating. It is the Holy Spirit; it belongs to God, and in fact, it is God. It is sentient; It knows your heart. By engaging with and nurturing this Spirit, not only can we attain Enlightenment, we can draw upon the skills and talents of generations past, for the Self is the Tree of Life. It is unitive, beyond time, and the true Source of all things.

This is where great talent arises. This is where genius and inspiration stems from. When we see a master pianist, a master painter, a brilliant physicist, or a great athlete rising at a young age, this is a manifestation of Spirit. They are putting their Prana or Chi into their work; it is imbued with the soul's life force. This is a child who, whether by past life or this life's blessing, has discovered the ability to channel their Spirit into an individual task. This is where great dancers and athletes come from. It is the Holy Spirit channeled through the heart and higher chambers of the mind that allows such talent to flow in us. In a word, it is the highest form of Creativity.

 Truly, we haven't even begun to explore the blessings of this body that God has designed.

As I read about different spiritual practices, I find three words for the same Substance, which is the life energy of the Mother. It is Spirit / Prana / Chi.

Holy Spirit

We find that within kabbalistic sources the holy spirit was understood as divine and a central power of the Godhead. Fundamental to most early kabbalistic systems was the idea that the divine overflows and emanates its essence and power into the mundane realm. This "Divine Essence" is called the Holy Spirit. 

~"The Rise of the Holy Spirit in Sixteenth-Century Kabbalah." Published online by Cambridge University Press: 23 May 2022.

I know the Holy Spirit to be as a power glowing inside of my heart. It is Love and unity with all life. Seeing oneself in all beings, and all beings in the Self. The Holy Spirit pervades all life as One.

Prana

In yoga, Indian medicine and Indian martial arts, prana (प्राण, prāṇa; the Sanskrit word for breath, "life force", or "vital principle") permeates reality on all levels including inanimate objects.... Similar concepts exist in various cultures, including the Latin anima ("breath", "vital force", "animating principle"), Islamic and Sufic ruh, the Greek pneuma, the Chinese qi, the Polynesian mana, the Amerindian orenda, the German od, and the Hebrew ruah. Prāṇa is also described as subtle energy or life force.

 ~Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prana

I know Prana to be as a power glowing inside of my heart. It is Love and unity with all life. Seeing oneself in all beings, and all beings in the Self. The Holy Spirit pervades all life as One. 

Chi

As we practice qigong and Inner Alchemy, we cultivate the capacity to perceive at all of these different levels [of chi]—to feel ourselves and our world as fluid and spacious, as well as being filled with apparently-solid forms. As we become more adept at this skill [of sensing chi], we become directly aware of the vibratory nature of all-that-is. Not only do we experience our bodies as being comprised of patterns and flows of qi, but also come to understand that “emotions” and “thoughts” are also forms of energy. These insights give rise then to the potential for newly-powerful and deliciously-creative action within this tremoring, vibratory world.

I know Chi to be the energy of the Tao that unifies and harmonizes all of existence; that manifests itself as energies and objects all vibrating to One pure sound; balancing and cultivating Chi is the secret to longevity, inner knowledge and good health. As we dwell in unity, so we know immortality.

Combining Taoist Energy Cultivation with Teresian Prayer

Bias serves no purpose on the spiritual path.

Why denounce the Truth of one religion, when that Truth is identical in another religion, except the language has changed, and the narrative is different? Heal the divergence that lies between religions. Heal the division of culture, language and custom. See the unity that is inherent in the spiritual path. Learn from every saint; absorb every teacher; for what one teacher lacks, another may explain clearly. What one narrative fails to make understandable, another narrative might lead to understanding. If parts of Buddhism confuses you, then lean on Taoism, or seek knowledge in the Catholic masters of prayer. Know the unitive state is the final goal.

Teaching spirituality is going back to the beginning and remembering the unrealized state. 

Seeking spirituality is going back to the beginning and remembering the realized state.

In every state, we must return to the beginning.

The cause and the effect are the same.

Let us Connect Buddhism, Toaism, and Teresian Prayer

Emptiness is a common theme in all religious traditions. But what is emptiness? 

Emptiness is the Source, the Truth, the Reality. Learning to disengage from our identification with the external or material reality, we are able to pull far back, until we recognize the quiet humming Reality of Energy or Spirit that lives within us.

The five aggregates are:

1. form (external material image)
2. sensations (feelings, received from form)
3. perceptions (internal ideas based on form)
4. mental activity (thoughts arising form)
5. viññāṇa (awareness of self based on form, or "false self" or "little self")

After you detach from the 5 Aggregates, then you move past emptiness into wholeness. Emptiness is not empty--you feel the baseline, the Self that resides within you that does not cling to any external attribute. You take that energy, and you cultivate It.

In Catholic terms, this is the prayer of union. This is the state St. Teresa of Avila reaches in the 7th Mansion of The Interior Castle. It is the chamber where God resides within you as True Reality--uniting with this Reality is transformation of the soul. It changes the Self and purifies consciousness.

What happened during my Awakening at 12? And what happened later, when I was 25 and I received my vision of the Tree of Life? It happened inside of my life energy. A massive amount of internal energy was released through my heart, up into the head, that blew out any falseness or ego that had accumulated. Salvation, Enlightenment, Liberation--it all lies in energy.

So see yourself past the 5 aggregates. See how you continue to exist even beyond thought and conception. Hold on to that existence, that Self, the "I" of awareness, until it expands outside of the body, through space and time, and ceases to identify with anything but being.

Now take that energy, and focus it. Feel it focused in your heart. Build it up. Allow it to bubble up into your body like a wellspring of purity. Allow that Life to dwell richly within you, in solitude, in silence, until it lifts you up, carving pathways to the top of your head, where the Nirvana chamber resides at the crown. Feel this pure spirit of life refresh and revitalize you. Do this, continue to do this, year after year. 

Eventually, something will connect in your heart. It is not in the mind, but in the heart, where the connection happens. Everything will open, and you will see True, Unitive Reality. You will enter into the Presence of God and receive Salvation. And then you will know the constant. Peace will enter your heart and become stable. Reality, as well, will stabilize, as you see everything in the True Self.

What is the constant? It is as St. Teresa of Avila tells us: it is the peace of knowing God's presence ever in your heart. It is a wellspring of Spirit, the True Self, residing in your body. Then you will know Reality for what it is. Then you will be Tathagata. And then all of Reality will respond do you, because the servant shall be One with the Master.

Sunflowers

Lessons from watching the sunflowers bloom in my garden:

1) The first ones to bloom did not grow the largest.

2) The largest and tallest flowers did not bloom first.

3) The one that fell over healed itself in 2 places, turned upright, and is still growing. It might be the smallest, but it's still growing strong.

4) All of the flowers are content to be themselves. They don't compare themselves to each other. They focus on their own life and do their best.

5) Every flower makes the garden beautiful.

Courage

Have courage, young heart, for God is not timid.

God is not meek. God is not afraid.

If you've ever felt the force of peace lift you as a child caught in a river, carrying you effortlessly upward by the power of grace, the pure water of soul flowing beyond time and filling infinity....

If you've ever looked up to realize the Tree grows far taller and mightier than any vision can contain; its branches spreading through the cosmos in a thousand waves of light, pulling together all of Creation....

Have courage, young heart, for God's strength lives within you. You are His child, and all that He is, you shall inherit.

Trust in the Lord with all of your Heart, for He is Life.

All Grace, All Might, All Glory contained.

He is Life.

* * *

We live on the edge of infinity.

A slight step to the left, and we can touch it. 

Expand your heart. Lose all else inside of it.

Empty of desire, filled with Light,

Emptiness is wholeness is nothing is All.

God, you struck me through the heart;

empty of myself, You gave me Life

that now Your love pours from the root of me

And all else fades away and away. 

Be the Sky, Not the Weather

 A person at our Vedanta meeting asked today about the nature of karma: "I am struggling with a twofold issue with the concept of karma: good-good and bad-bad. If something bad happens to a person, if you think in terms of karma then it becomes easier to judge them, thinking this is their bad karma from a past life experience that they brought upon themselves. The other issue is that, if something bad happens to me, I lose motivation to deal with it or overcome it, thinking this is my bad karma so it's inevitable."

I love that this student of Vedanta brought up this challenging topic. It made me reflect as well, drawing wisdom from my own life experiences as not only an orphan, but a working adult in this chaotic society.

It made me reflect on how we tend to assign the meaning "good" and "bad" to events. 

Karma is impersonal, which can be difficult to fit into a Western narrative, because Western religions personalize everything. For instance, in Western thought, if something bad happens to you, it's seen as "punishment." Or if something good happens to you, it's because God has favored you (or variations of this.)

This idea of good and bad begins early in childhood, in socialization. It is part of the Western Judeo-Christian narrative. But in fact, if you remain completely rational, you can reason that no event in life is good or bad, whether you accept karmic law or not. It just is. Events happen in our lives, some of them difficult, destructive, and hurtful to us, but the event itself is neutral. There is no cosmic grudge against us. There is no God meting out punishment and reward. But, the mind needs to understand things. It needs to ask, "Why?" It reasons, "Am I bad?"

So, in Western society, we try to personalize the event as punishment or "bad karma," placing our friends or ourselves at fault for suffering. But people don't suffer because they deserve to suffer. People suffer because the narrative that defines our world creates suffering by its tendency to "cling" to meaning, to reasons, to outcomes. Events happen because we live in an imperfect reality. Are we to hate or blame the nature of reality for our struggles? That doesn't make sense. In fact, that sounds like a form of insanity.

Instead of trying to find an answer to the reason "Why?" or trying to reason out why a "bad thing" happened to someone, it's better to retain an attitude of indifferent compassion. What do I mean by this? Rather than worrying about the "Why" of an event, or who's responsible, or reasoning out an explanation, or judging the nature of the event, remain indifferent to it. Who cares why? This is the nature of an impermanent reality. There will be difficult situations. Simply accept what is and focus on a compassionate reaction. If you need help, then seek help. If you can help others, then help others. That's all that matters. 

Spiritual growth isn't about controlling our external reality. It's about attaining balance in our internal reality.

Detached compassion creates a sense of flow in life and helps maintain inner peace. Over time, we begin to see even very serious disasters as simply small bumps to be stepped over, because we no longer see events as good or bad, and nothing can disrupt or interrupt our inner peace. Then, we are free to focus all our energy on being compassionate to everyone.

Be the sky, not the weather.

The Silence of God

 What is the silence of God?

The silence of God is that the universe is not silent. Only to the five senses is the universe silent. In silence, the Awakened One hears the name of God as one continuous sound, one continuous motion, binding all things together, and it moves through the heart and resonates in every cell as Love.

So the sage sits in silence and gazes upon the world, never hearing silence, never seeing the world, yet being merged in God.