In Heaven, there are no questions and all is known.

We must take the time in life to notice things. My father told me when I was younger to always observe everything around you. To really take the time and see -- see the way the wind goes through the leaves, how the branches sprout from a trunk, how each green is a slightly different shade of green. When we notice these things, we come to value them. When we value them, we find that they make us happy. Happiness is priceless.

"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways."

Now is the only time we have to change.

Why would I ever want what someone else has? I can never have what another has, because I am not that person, I am only myself, and what I value is not what others value, and my riches are not another's riches....

Inferiority

What does it mean to feel inferior?

To feel inferior is not the same as recognizing that one is as good or bad at something as another. To feel inferior, one must nod one's head and say "Yes, that person is better than me, and therefore more worthy." You must be comparing yourself to others in the first place, when really, there is nothing to compare. As we go about our day to day existence, we are constantly seeing other people and subconsciously comparing ourselves to them -- our self-perceived faults and imperfections against theirs. But there is a key word here: self-perceived. Also, it is impossible to tell if a person is also looking at us and feeling inferior; the very person who is making us feel bad (just by existing, mind you), may also be feeling bad because of us. Silly, isn't it?

And what does "being the best" even gain us? It is just another trick of the ego and mind. Being the best means being recognized by those who are less than you, and in all truth, I would hate for anyone to feel less than me. I would hate for anyone to look at me, then look at themselves and think -- "She is so much better than me. I am worthless." Instead, I would like others to look upon me and think "I think she is amazing, and she loves me -- so what does that make me?" Something special, unique, and strong. When I see people, I do not see their faults; I see their potential. Likewise, I should look at myself and see only my potential. There is no need to feel inferior to anyone, because inferiority is ultimately just as illusory as superiority. We are all here, equally part of existence. The experience of that equality is love. To truly believe we are equal, we must love everyone, even ourselves, and remove ourselves from the pulls of the ego, of our draw to labeling ourselves either better or worse, inferior or superior, good or bad.

Meditations on Impermanence

Yesterday is done. Today is now. Tomorrow is nonexistent.

How will I live my last day on earth?

Will I be annoyed at all the small things that aren't worth my attention, or will I live every second striving to be happy, to be thankful for this day and all it has to offer? To receive opportunity, we must be present here and now. I must think to the root of all of my annoyances and understand them; why they bother me and how. Buddhism teaches us that most annoyances stem from attachments, as do most thoughts, and the way to truly be closer to God (or our "Buddha nature") is to remove ourselves from these worldly attachments, because most of what we experience is a dream. And it IS a dream, because sooner or later, it ends. True reality never ends.

I wake up every morning and contemplate death. I force my mind into the idea that tonight there is a hidden deadline, at 9:27pm I will be hit by a drunk driver, or a tree might fall on me, or I will have an unforeseen heart attack and die. I prepare myself; I think, how will I live this last day? Will I eat my breakfast inside at a table, or will I take it outside and eat on the grass? Will I drive to work stressed out, or will I float along and enjoy it, knowing that even if I'm late, it doesn't matter because tonight I am going to die? If this fly is annoying me, do I want to kill it, knowing its life is as precious as mine, and I will die tonight anyway -- so why take another life with me? This doesn't mean relinquishing responsibility. In fact, if this was my last day to live, I would want to live honorably, doing everything exactly the way I have always wanted to do it -- with maturity, responsibility, and compassion. And yet everything becomes easier and more meaningful once one releases the idea of tomorrow and realizes that tomorrow is actually an illusion. In fact, in the face of death, all of the rules we live by are an illusion. Yesterday I walked right through a group of students and sat down with their Lamas, because I knew that in the face of my dying tonight, it did not matter whether or not I gave them the "awe" and "respect" they have somehow earned. And in the face of god, what have they earned, exactly? We are all equals, for we all die, and I love them and love this world in an unrivaled way that is beyond explanation. Bury your suffering in me; I will heal it.

I do not know how I came to be here, or who I was before -- but I know what I am here to do, and by living every day as a reality, as a precious day that IS my last, I will not fail or falter in my task.

There is happiness and fulfillment in every experience once we know that all things bring us to God. Once on the path, we are propelled forward at our own pace, but always forward, into the embrace of Love. May unity be our greatest destiny, though even unified, we will continue to come to this place and every realm of existence to watch, to love, and to serve. I, as a thought-entity, shall never end, and never will my love of you, and compassion for your suffering.