Judgement

My aunt once told me that you can't trust people who don't believe in God. She said it's because they don't have a conscience. I kept quiet, but honestly, I was disappointed. I wanted to ask what she really knew about her conscience, because my conscience says that it is wrong to speak badly of others, no matter who they are. Who are we to assume a person's status in the eyes of God?

To speak badly of others is to cause pain, even if our words are never overheard (and guess what? God hears them.) There is enough pain in the world outside of my control; I don't need to add to it. I always feel guilty when I say something needlessly judgmental because I feel like I am letting down God. Treating people negatively gets in the way of my spiritual path. I am very aware of my failings and imperfections, and I too am judged daily. All people deserve to be understood, even if they are not right. All people deserve to be listened to, even if they are not a reliable authority. Love listens, and love isn't concerned with proving anything; love only cares if a person can be healed. When people speak to me of their diverse beliefs and hardships, all I can think of is "How can I show you God?" The only way I can show anyone God is through love.

There are too many who claim to "believe in God" yet live a life of hypocrisy. Look at people's actions. Where there is kindness, there is God. A man who acts purely out of kindness but who doubts God's existence is still doing God's work. And how pleasing is that, to know that there are people who do good for the sake of good, and not for the sake of reward? God notices.

I survive by a deep, abiding love of God, and I am judged for it by religious and non-religious alike. But I know what I have, and I will not pass that judgment onto those of weaker faith. That's not what God made me for. That's not the duty God has given me.

I am not worthy of my life. I am not worthy of being alive. I am not worthy of knowing God. And yet I do. God saved me and I am not worthy, so I have no right to judge.

Debts Forgiven: An Answered Prayer

My father passed away about a year and a half ago, leaving my brother and I with close to $50,000 in debt, credit cards and student loans combined.

I was baptized last February and attended a sermon at Church which talked about God as the "forgiver of debts." The sermon stressed that we should forgive the debts of others that God may forgive our debts. I have always been very generous in forgiving others (for more than just financial debts), and so I began praying: "Please God, forgive my father's debts. Forgive my father's debts because he forgave the debts of others." I've prayed this more than a few times over the past months.

A month ago, my brother was notified by Sally Mae that because my father was the only signer on his student loans, he doesn't need to pay back any of the money. That's $30,000 that we don't need to pay!

And finally, today, I received a letter from our lawyer informing us that my father's biggest credit card debt, $13,000 with Chase, was misfiled with the court. The credit collectors had a 1 month window to file a creditor's claim with the court in order to collect the money from the estate. Otherwise their claim can be rejected by the estate and the debt dropped, forever.

Our lawyer wrote to us reporting that Chase misfiled the claim with the court. It wasn't filed within the 1-month window, and so we can reject it! That's $13,000 that we don't need to pay!

God, thank you, thank you, thank you for forgiving my father's debts! Thank you!