Monday, July 27, 2009

Why me?

So what's with all this God stuff, anyway?

It's difficult being young and realizing that most people see the world in a completely different way than oneself. I am not doing this to prove anything, nor do I care if you believe me or not. I will not waste my time debating you.

I am speaking these things for the people who are ready to listen, who have prepared themselves to the point that they are looking for answers and will seek high and low for truth. Everyone has their own path to follow; however, what I discovered as truth I found when I was very young. I write this blog for you, dear reader, and for the benefit of those in need, and for the consciousness in this universe that I know so intimately. If you think I do not have the authority to be speaking of these things, then go seek those who you will listen to. But I will only be saying the same words, as my words are their words, as are the same words of anyone who has come into contact with a higher power.

I will write more when I have more to say.

What is God?

So what is God?

The saints and prophets throughout history have called it by many names, and so I shall call it by the most familiar: God.

God is a feeling, a presence, and a knowledge all wrapped into one. I think a lot of people are born into religions or born into atheist families where they only learn to equate the word God with the Bible, Christianity, etc. God is neither contained in those things nor found only through those things; remember that whereas Christianity is only a mere 2000 years old, the oldest religion can be traced back 8000 years, and evidence of the knowledge of God and its existence go back even further than that. Do not make the mistake of thinking that our ancestors were less intelligent than we were; perhaps today we are more progressed in science, but the principles that led to science were founded deep in the roots of philosophy, which can be traced back to the beginning of human history -- and most philosophy is just as complex as science. We are marginally smarter, but we have not changed that much, especially socially. When I speak of God in this post, I do not speak in a religious, dogmatic context, so please do not mistake my words. Please imagine God as a blank slate; a term free of preconceived notions and context. (If you are happily part of a religion, I also do not mean to insult or disrespect anyone. I am simply speaking from what I know to be true, and my words are directed for a very select audience: those who have yet to find their answer.)

To know God, one must be alone. It begins with a question. We begin by searching for answers; a lot of times along our search we can be very unforgiving of others. We fight and argue. We debate. We insult other's beliefs because we are frustrated and we want answers that make sense; a lot of times we justify this anger and frustration by thinking others are dumb, tearing them apart, screaming, or just pulling away. It's alright. This is the soul at war with itself. Many times we fight our own innate understanding of God because we do not want it to be true, or because we fear it, which is what makes us so conflicted and upset. Of course, there are always people who just don't care either way -- it doesn't effect them, and that's fine; it's because they haven't started searching yet. But when one becomes angry at the mention of God, or even just the hint of God, it is because one is -- on some level -- angry at God. Justify it as one can; the truth will remain that if a person truly did not believe in anything, he or she would not feel so emotionally compelled to denounce it. One cannot hate the word God and then deny that this word is not somehow deeply affecting them.

So when do we begin?

People usually begin searching for God when they begin to experience difficult times in their lives, through which arise questions about the nature of reality and the “reason” behind everything. This does not mean that God is only an intangible concept to “comfort” those in need. Knowledge of God is not comfort, and it always leads to more questions; the journey does not end with simply “knowing.” It is a two-sided blade. On one hand, to be at peace with one's own beliefs is to give one strength and purpose far greater than what is otherwise humanly possible. However, it also burdens one with the responsibility of living one's life in service to both humanity and his or herself; a deep-seated, spiritual responsibility to better oneself and better the world. To have a spiritual “awakening” and come into knowledge of God doesn't just mean to “realize” the innate connection that exists in all things -- it means that one experiences it. This profound feeling of connection can easily be explained through science -- all things, including matter, simplify down to energy. Energy can neither be made nor destroyed. All matter we see around us is really just energy shaped by different vibrations. When an individual comes to the complete knowledge of God, one feels this energy and “vibration” in all things, and it resonates in the heart as Love. This Love exists because we are as much a part of its energy as it is a part of us, and just as we feel loved when we are home among the family we belong to (ideally), we feel the same love when we come home to God. Please remember that I am speaking of God as a blank slate. God is a presence, a feeling, and an innate, natural knowledge of this universe.

Why a presence?

So why can't we just say “God is energy evolving itself” and leave it at that? Because God does not just present itself to us as “lifeless” energy -- in fact, such a thing does not exist (where is there inanimate energy that does not produce life? All is a cycle.) When one experiences an “awakening,” one also becomes aware of a higher consciousness that exists in the world around us. It can be felt in all energy, in all growing things, in everything where the light touches or which moves with the appropriate chemical reactions to produce life. God is life force. God is unending, vibrating energy. But God is also the part of us that is conscious, the awareness of the mind that says “I am.” One can imagine God as an unending vibration that speaks “I am” over and over again, playing with the heart strings as one might imagine music, though no sound can be heard. This unending “I am” assures us of its presence by revealing itself as love. An unconscious energy cannot love, and yet this universe does love, and it loves far deeper and greater than anything we can relate to in our human perspective. This is the love of the entire universe harmonizing itself through laws and working as a functioning whole. To think that love is merely a emotion contained by the body is a limited perception. Everything we are was in this universe before we ever came into being. How could anything “new” come from energy if that energy can neither be created nor destroyed? We evolved from the same stuff that is in stars and dirt. Perhaps instead of seeing emotion as a product of evolved hormones and mating interactions, one might see it as a harmonizing energy that was previously in this universe, which we physically evolved to embody.

So how do I reach it?

This has always been something hard for me to explain. First, the idea of “reaching” or “attainment” when pertained to God is the wrong way of looking at it. One is made of the same energy that unites and harmonizes this entire universe; therefore, all you are really “reaching” for is to attain complete and total knowledge of one's own nature, which is already inside of yourself. One may find God when one calls it by all of its names without feeling that kick of anger, resentment, fear, or uncertainty. God is confidence; it is also humility and sincerity. Many Eastern religions would like to support that such an “awakening” is possible at merely the drop of a hat or the ring of a bell. I do not agree with this. I think that for one to reach such an awakening, one must open themselves to all possibility -- something extremely difficult to do, especially the later one reaches in life. Programming is a hard thing to erase, but when we can erase our programming, we discover the programmer. When we can unravel all of the knots and contradictions that make up our psyche, we begin to see that everything around us is really just a pattern, and it all originates from the same source. This realization can lead to the physical, internal “awakening” where one might connect with this source, recognize our “selves” as simply patterns, and come to terms with the solid presence that is free from pattern or repetition -- a presence that just is.

A lot of this is tied into the identity. We have many things in this world which we take into ourselves as our identities -- our mothers and fathers, physical objects like clothing, hair cuts, cars, TV's, or activities like jobs, sports, hobbies... but in the end, this true knowledge of the self can only be gained when one loses their physical perceptions of the self. We are not things of concrete buildings or 9-5 jobs. We are creatures of the forest, animals that have evolved to be just slightly smarter than the average bear, and in our arrogance we treat the rest of the universe as though it is some alien place that we are just stumbling upon, rather than the source of everything we are and have yet to become. The universe is a thriving, throbbing entity. It speaks and moves within us, for without it we would be unable to speak or move. To reconnect with the universe, we must humble ourselves. We must dispose of our egos and realize that nothing is ours, not even our identities, for they can be stripped from us as easily as our own houses or cars. To the larger extent, our identities rely on other people (our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers), and when we lose these people, we are thrown into questioning and doubt -- because the powerful sense of identity that each person gives us is, ultimately, fake. When we lose our identity and realize that we have nothing, and then open ourselves to God, our identity becomes God, and we see the world through God's eyes and feel through God's heart. Why is this? Because the innate knowledge that is in all things is also in ourselves; we simply suppress it by ignoring it and pretending it isn't there, to the point where we delude ourselves into believing that somehow we are outsiders in this universe, visitors who don't belong here. God's eyes see the connection in all things, because God is the connection in all things. God's heart loves all things, because God is all things. God must perceive itself; otherwise it would cease to exist. God must love itself, otherwise it would cease to evolve and create. To merge one's identity with God is the most profound homecoming a soul can ever experience, and it is a home that our hearts recognize before our eyes ever see it. This is why all the religions say that faith is blind. Faith is knowing one is home, even when one cannot see the house they walk in.

Does God answer all questions?

No. God (remember, blank slate) does not answer all questions. God cannot tell us why a loved one died, whether or not an afterlife exists, why we lost a job, or why we failed at our dreams. God, in this sense, does not speak. God does not explain to us what an atom is, nor does it tell us the speed of light, nor the depths of the ocean, nor the chemical reactions of our brains. However, when one is connected to this innate energy in the universe, those questions are satisfied on a level that does not need words. This is what it means to be at peace. The soul no longer fights itself for understanding, nor demands answers. The soul realizes that it is home and safe, and there is no need for worry or questioning, even if it sometimes worries and questions.

What next?

When one receives this understanding, there is no next step. One lives the rest of one's life serving humanity, because one is so full of love that he or she is incapable of doing anything else. It is a deep, unrivaled joy. It is the only satisfaction, and the urge is unquenchable.

Why did you write this?

Because you asked.