Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Life is full of separation.

Let no one's absence be a cause for suffering. People come and go. Let the happiness in your life come from within you. This way it can never be taken away.

Likewise, let your faith come from within you.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Thoughts on Patience

Patience is, of course, a virtue.

I have been dwelling upon it lately. What is patience, and how can patience show us God?

To know God, we give ourselves over to something greater. We take a "leap of faith," we plunge ourselves with total trust into the unknown. We trust something infinitely huge and powerful to take care of us... and yet something that we cannot always see.

To have patience, we must give ourselves over to something greater. When we are tutoring a slow learner, or standing in line at the post office, or stuck in traffic... patience is a form of surrender. It is a sacrifice made to those hours when we are unable to be where we want to be, or do what we want to do. Patience is, in this sense, generosity. Patience is momentary selflessness.

Patience is also peace. It is the ability to be in the moment we are in, to accept where we are and lay to rest our desires, our worries, etc. Peace, also, is surrender. Peace is sacrifice.

And for those who serve God, we are asked for endless patience... patience with a world that perhaps does not understand our vocation at all. Patience with a world that demands when, and what do you want, and how are you going to get there? The world does not always understand a person who wants nothing for himself. The world does not always understand why we wait, why we are content to act beyond ourselves, to give five minutes more of our time, to wait in line with just enough grace to smile. God asks us to be patient. God tells us that perhaps, when we are patient, we stand that much closer to Him.

Friday, May 13, 2011

God, much is changing, and much has changed.

I am concerned about my friends, about those who you have placed in my path. I cannot help but include myself in their trials -- isn't this love? And yet, I do not understand what you make some lives to be. I do not understand the design. It is like staring at a picture, with large spaces and gaps between the paint, attempting to recognize an alien landscape. The spiritual eye is, at times, color blind. I cannot see all of your colors, God -- how can I possibly understand the trials you lay on the ones I love?

And yet my heart, too, is in the mix. Why do you bring me to them, if I cannot help them? I cannot fix the situations they have brought upon themselves, and yet I pray and pray, and lose sleep, and worry until my heart strains and I cannot bear it anymore. Give their trials to me, Lord, and let them walk free. Give me their burdens, because I can suffer for you and retain your love, and they do not have your strength. Please, God, give them mercy. They do not know you... but perhaps, through my love of you, they can see a little of what you are.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

God, why can't I just be thankful?

I am lesser than a blade of grass, because a blade of grass is content to be as you have made it, and I cannot be content in my station. I keep praying and pushing... and when I relax and move with the flow, still I push, because for some of us, we have been waiting already for half of our lives, and we want nothing more than to finally move.

There is a terrible sense of urgency. There is too much that needs to be done. I must remind myself that your pace, at times, is mercifully slow.

Take me there.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The game of life is to change. To change and move and learn to see yourself through a thousand different lenses. By constantly changing, life shows us permanence. It shows us the few things that stay the same.

Perfection is not simple. God is not simple. Love craves to suffer, that it may ever prove itself; death creates beauty; we feel the world through chemicals. Everything we think we know about God is wrong.

In all of my life, this is the only thing that God has proven true: that He is composed of thriving, unconditional love... and that He is always by my side.
Do good deeds, and God will always be in your heart.

Speak kind words, and God will always be in your voice.

Think kind thoughts, and God will always be in your mind.

Be compassionate. Give of yourself without restraint. Always love first.