Thoughts on Christianity

For most of my life up to this point, I have avoided calling myself Christian. Something about the label always bothered me; I didn't want all the negative stereotypes that apply to "Christian" to also apply to me. Since I was raised by atheists, these stereotypes were very prevalent in my home. Christianity was synonymous with "judgmental, irrational, ignorant, superstitious, and belligerent." I wanted people to see my faith for what it was, something I had experienced in the purity and sincerity of my childhood, not a string of negative connotations that would push them away.

But a part of growing in my faith has been realizing that, as we get older, we need ways of explaining ourselves to others. People as a whole are not that smart or open-minded, and they can only understand faith in terms of what they are familiar with -- in this case, the Bible, Christ, and Christianity. I am understanding now that there are as many different kinds of Christians as there are different kinds of people, and the next challenge for my faith is not to maintain an ambivalent, "in between" belief system where I pick and choose from various traditions. No, the next challenge for my faith is to embrace a tradition and grow from it. Learn from those who have come before me. Get over my pride and submit to the experience and wisdom of hundreds of generations.

And the honest truth is that when I read the teachings of Christ, it all rings true for me. Not everything in the Bible strikes me as being spiritually potent, but the words of Christ do. The way he explains God matches up exactly with my own experience of faith, and the Spirit that confronted me when I was first saved, before I had ever been introduced to Christianity or anyone's teachings, before I even learned what the Holy Spirit was. God was with me before Christianity, and coming from that perspective, when I first read the teachings of Christ, I felt as though they had already been imprinted on my heart, as though I was reading something that was old news, because my experience of salvation had already imparted those truths in my heart and spirit. 

I still believe that there are many different ways to practice faith in God... and everyone needs to find the way that helps them grow in their relationship to God... but, if all ways are the same Way, then instead of picking and choosing from different doctrines, find one doctrine and stick to it. Following a religion, in this sense, is not really about "being right" or "knowing more"... it is about having a daily practice, something to challenge us to let go of our prior beliefs and seek a new way of life, something that changes us in ways that we need to be changed.

I still like to learn about different religions because it brings me joy to hear about God's ways, but I understand now that I must dedicate myself to only one... otherwise it is very difficult to grow spiritually; it is easy to become overwhelmed or lazy, or to hold back from what one is doing, to stop oneself from fully plunging into the journey. Spirituality and faith, after all, is more about forgetting what you think you know than understanding everything. We will never understand all of the secrets of life. God's secrets are ineffable and found only in the heart, as I hope my experiences have shown you. I am in relationship with God and I always have been, and because of that, I choose Christ. He is the Way.