And I don't think pursuing our dreams is selfish, not if we keep God in our hearts. When we walk close to God, our desires become like His. It would only make sense that He plants our dreams as well. And I think that, beyond serving Him, God wants us to be happy and fulfilled by what we do.
I have had this dream since I was very young, and feel that it is God's path and calling, though I do not yet see how it serves Him. I have been conflicted with my faith because I feel that my deeds serve myself more than others. I would like to know that I am greatly effecting the world for the better, but instead, I can only guess. I can only assume that, if this is my dream, God will use it to glorify Him, even if I am just beginning and do not yet see the connection. I am working blindly by faith, trusting that He will take me there.
It is easy to become downtrodden, especially when we choose a less-than-conventional path or career. It is easy to feel the negativity of others--bad responses, unsatisfied consumers or clients--and feel like we are failing
I face my fear of failure every day. I think that a single bad response from a friend or client feeds into that fear, and amplifies it by a thousand fold. So we might have a hundred people encouraging us, but just one voice can tear us down. We need God's voice--and our desires for Him--to be stronger than that.
To face the negativity, to overcome my sensitive heart, I MUST remind myself that it is not the majority who are negative. It is not the majority who are unsatified. We can't control the preferences or qualities of others, and if our work is not enough for one person, then we must let it go and not dwell on the negative. We must keep our eyes on our dream--on our path--on what brings us fulfillment in life.
It is hard to do, I will admit. It is so easy to bury something when we feel a lack of approval. And yet to bury this dream--this desire in my heart--would be to undo me. I cannot give up. I don't care if I fail a thousand times--if the entire world hates what I do--I know it is my purpose. I know it is the path that God has brought to me, given my talents and personal strengths. I know this is where I fit. I cannot let the words of others unsettle me.
God, be my strength. Be my compassion. Be my true fulfillment. Knowing that I am walking with You should be enough. Remind my heart that when I feel unappreciated, You are always gazing upon me with love. That my work is Our work. That you approve, even when others do not.
And please strengthen my faith in the future--that I will become better--that my words can reach the world.
“Agree with God, and be at peace; thereby good will come to you."
Job 22:21 ESV
