It has now been 9 months since I began my meditation practice. The transformation of my internal state is difficult to describe, at once gentle and subtle, yet powerful and pervasive, to the extent that all areas of my life are transformed. My mind has become settled; my thoughts easy to direct. My emotions are further under my control. I'm recovering very clear memories of childhood--even dreams I had in childhood--that I haven't thought about in years. These memories will bubble up to the surface of my thoughts at random, while I am focused on a task at work, or gardening, or doing chores.
I remember a time when I could hardly remember anything before I turned 21!
I billow up into joy and bliss throughout the day, overcome by waves of unity, awe, and peace; and if a negative thought enters me, I quickly allow it to pass through, without clinging or identifying with that thought. It is easier now more than ever to forgive and forget.
In this state, we live with a strange kind of forgetfulness. It's easy to forget the troubles of the world when we are so comfortably settled in the peace of the Now. It is like sitting next to the fountainhead of a pure spring, with water constantly bubbling up from the depths of the heart, which is Life itself, and brings health to the mind and body.
Although I was already aware of God's Presence in the world as the unitive Self, through meditation, I'm finding myself made more aware of the subtle energies that govern the internal and external realms. Many small epiphanies flow through you. This existence may be One, but is beautifully complex and layered. It is truly as St. Teresa of Avila said: "In this prayer of union, God deigns to teach the soul, though it knows not what passes there. It is beyond comprehending."
One of these early epiphanies was the realization that only the internal world is real. This is an inverse to how we perceive the world in society, where we think of only the external world as "real," and our internal world is somehow "imaginary" or "unreliable." But in Truth, only what is internal can be known to exist. I don't know the substance of the desk in front of me; I can see it and touch it, but I don't know it. Nor do I know the thriving reality of the plant in the vase; I can water it and prune it, but I can't know it.
But I can know myself--I can know my own existence, my own substance--as much is self evident to me. On that, I can be sure. I Am, and from that knowing, all else must follow. I can know the true make of myself by going inside and dwelling for a time in peace, without the disruption of thought, upon the golden light of the heart. I know this Self by going deep into my heart, where the Source of all Life is quietly thriving in Its power and serenity.
I have also come to understand the body as a tuning rod--an instrument evolved and designed to channel this divine energy that we carry within us. It is the energy of the Self that enlivens us. God is Spirit; the Self is One Essence; the Mother is Tao. The body is created to manifest this energy that is God's perfect spirit. And in fact, all spiritual practice is toward the manifestation of God's Spirit through our own physical bodies. We can call this practice "energy cultivation."
Meditation is energy cultivation.
It is not my energy I am cultivating and manifesting. It is the Mother Herself, the Light of Lights, shining through my being into the world, creating endless ripples of cause and effect, creating form, impacting everything from the flow of time to the shape of matter and thought. She is the pebble in the lake, from which all ripples arise. She is also the lake. She is also the ripple. That is the Self.
I do not cultivate my energy. I cultivate Her Spirit. I channel Her manna; Her love; Her power. It is not me, but She who does all things through me. Nothing in this life is my own; not the writing of books or the creation of art, nor the gift of love. All is from Her. That is the first thing we must realize about energy cultivation--it is not your own energy you are cultivating. It is the Holy Spirit; it belongs to God, and in fact, it is God. It is sentient; It knows your heart. By engaging with and nurturing this Spirit, not only can we attain Enlightenment, we can draw upon the skills and talents of generations past, for the Self is the Tree of Life. It is unitive, beyond time, and the true Source of all things.
This is where great talent arises. This is where genius and inspiration stems from. When we see a master pianist, a master painter, a brilliant physicist, or a great athlete rising at a young age, this is a manifestation of Spirit. They are putting their Prana or Chi into their work; it is imbued with the soul's life force. This is a child who, whether by past life or this life's blessing, has discovered the ability to channel their Spirit into an individual task. This is where great dancers and athletes come from. It is the Holy Spirit channeled through the heart and higher chambers of the mind that allows such talent to flow in us. In a word, it is the highest form of Creativity.
Truly, we haven't even begun to explore the blessings of this body that God has designed.
As I read about different spiritual practices, I find three words for the same Substance, which is the life energy of the Mother. It is Spirit / Prana / Chi.
Holy Spirit
We find that within kabbalistic sources the holy spirit was understood as divine and a central power of the Godhead. Fundamental to most early kabbalistic systems was the idea that the divine overflows and emanates its essence and power into the mundane realm. This "Divine Essence" is called the Holy Spirit.
~"The Rise of the Holy Spirit in Sixteenth-Century Kabbalah." Published online by Cambridge University Press: 23 May 2022.
I know the Holy Spirit to be as a power glowing inside of my heart. It is Love and unity with all life. Seeing oneself in all beings, and all beings in the Self. The Holy Spirit pervades all life as One.
Prana
In yoga, Indian medicine and Indian martial arts, prana (प्राण, prāṇa; the Sanskrit word for breath, "life force", or "vital principle") permeates reality on all levels including inanimate objects.... Similar concepts exist in various cultures, including the Latin anima ("breath", "vital force", "animating principle"), Islamic and Sufic ruh, the Greek pneuma, the Chinese qi, the Polynesian mana, the Amerindian orenda, the German od, and the Hebrew ruah. Prāṇa is also described as subtle energy or life force.
~Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prana
I know Prana to be as a power glowing inside of my heart. It is Love and unity with all life. Seeing oneself in all beings, and all beings in the Self. The Holy Spirit pervades all life as One.
Chi
As we practice qigong and Inner Alchemy, we cultivate the capacity to perceive at all of these different levels [of chi]—to feel ourselves and our world as fluid and spacious, as well as being filled with apparently-solid forms. As we become more adept at this skill [of sensing chi], we become directly aware of the vibratory nature of all-that-is. Not only do we experience our bodies as being comprised of patterns and flows of qi, but also come to understand that “emotions” and “thoughts” are also forms of energy. These insights give rise then to the potential for newly-powerful and deliciously-creative action within this tremoring, vibratory world.
