Meditations on Impermanence

Yesterday is done. Today is now. Tomorrow is nonexistent.

How will I live my last day on earth?

Will I be annoyed at all the small things that aren't worth my attention, or will I live every second striving to be happy, to be thankful for this day and all it has to offer? To receive opportunity, we must be present here and now. I must think to the root of all of my annoyances and understand them; why they bother me and how. Buddhism teaches us that most annoyances stem from attachments, as do most thoughts, and the way to truly be closer to God (or our "Buddha nature") is to remove ourselves from these worldly attachments, because most of what we experience is a dream. And it IS a dream, because sooner or later, it ends. True reality never ends.

I wake up every morning and contemplate death. I force my mind into the idea that tonight there is a hidden deadline, at 9:27pm I will be hit by a drunk driver, or a tree might fall on me, or I will have an unforeseen heart attack and die. I prepare myself; I think, how will I live this last day? Will I eat my breakfast inside at a table, or will I take it outside and eat on the grass? Will I drive to work stressed out, or will I float along and enjoy it, knowing that even if I'm late, it doesn't matter because tonight I am going to die? If this fly is annoying me, do I want to kill it, knowing its life is as precious as mine, and I will die tonight anyway -- so why take another life with me? This doesn't mean relinquishing responsibility. In fact, if this was my last day to live, I would want to live honorably, doing everything exactly the way I have always wanted to do it -- with maturity, responsibility, and compassion. And yet everything becomes easier and more meaningful once one releases the idea of tomorrow and realizes that tomorrow is actually an illusion. In fact, in the face of death, all of the rules we live by are an illusion. Yesterday I walked right through a group of students and sat down with their Lamas, because I knew that in the face of my dying tonight, it did not matter whether or not I gave them the "awe" and "respect" they have somehow earned. And in the face of god, what have they earned, exactly? We are all equals, for we all die, and I love them and love this world in an unrivaled way that is beyond explanation. Bury your suffering in me; I will heal it.

I do not know how I came to be here, or who I was before -- but I know what I am here to do, and by living every day as a reality, as a precious day that IS my last, I will not fail or falter in my task.