God, it is all so hard, you make me want to hide in your walls, under your bench, and never crawl out again.
I am burying myself in your fields, Lord.
It isn't healthy to smother ourselves, but sometimes that's all we can do. Sitting still is too painful, and when we are still, we feel all of the motion inside of us, the unending surges of grief and hope, of longing and despair, frustration as we try to understand ourselves and why we feel like we are drowning.
But we are drowning with You, Lord. You made this ocean.
Oh Lord of my Heart -- why bring me to my knees when I am already upon them in prayer?
