Speaking with Atheists....

I was terribly disheartened yesterday when I discovered that a close friend of mine is slowly becoming an atheist.

I didn't know what to say when he told me. He was my first serious boyfriend; the relationship lasted 3 years. When I first fell in love with him, it was because I thought his faith was as strong as mine; he claimed to have had the same experience as I did when I had first found God. He went on to say, "I think of God as an idea... I think the universe is progressing toward what some day might be God, like an ultimate goal."

I asked him if he believed in a personal God. He said no....

This is a radical 180 based on the man I once knew. I understand, at least in part, why he is becoming an atheist. First, he is a mechanical engineer and very smart, and I know that intelligent, scientific, logical people have more difficulty seeing God. They focus so much on the mind that they forget the heart, which is ultimately where God resides.

But he is also from a Muslim country, Kuwait. When I met him, he was still submerged in the culture of the Middle East, where everyone praises Allah or else they are at risk of being targeted by religious radicals. Everyone prays 5 times a day, studies the Koran from front to back through school, and can't denounce their faith unless they want to alienate their family. I can understand how, after coming to America, he wants to be exactly the opposite of the oppressive religious atmosphere of his home country.

And yet, the way he talked to me was as though he had forgotten that I was once very atheist myself... far more atheist than I hope he ever becomes. I wanted to tell him that I have walked the opposite road and that the only thing that awaited him were empty facts, measurements, theorems and endless questing. Atheism offers no real answers; only answers that lead to more questions. Atheism, eventually, can lead a brilliant mind to bitterness, dissatisfaction, and misery.

It stabbed my heart. To see God losing one of His brightest children... not to be lost forever, because I don't think anything is lost forever, but to be blocked from the greatness and profound understanding that may have once fulfilled his life. I wanted to pluck out my eyes and put them in his head so he could see God the way I see Him, but I knew that there was no way for me to give him that connection. Not if he didn't want it.

It is another reminder, just like my father and my brother, that you cannot change the mind of an atheist. Logic is a trap; it is a prison. Atheists have their answers and they cling to them tightly because to embrace God is a terrifying and alienating idea. Atheists cling to logic because logic appears to have evidence. However, once one starts to believe in God, God also starts to show evidence. (How can you begin to see God if you won't even look at Him?)

You can't change atheists by speaking to them. They've already made up their minds, and even worse, they think you're dumb because you're a believer, and they're not going to listen to you. The only way to open their hearts is to pray for them, and to show them that you are not a hypocrite. That there are spiritual and religious people out there that are logical, that are open and accepting, that do not judge and are simply here to help humanity. When atheists see that, they want to become that. What soul doesn't want to be a hero, given the chance? Atheism is rising because religion is failing... but the terrifying thing is that we must not lose our knowledge of God. We cannot let the old ways be erased.

My friend is changing, as am I. Perhaps our paths are different. The faith he once had was not true faith, because it is diminishing under pressure; true faith grows when it is challenged. His faith was simply something that society had forced upon him as a child. Perhaps this is the beginning of his true walk with God, and perhaps he will not find God again until he is much older. I don't love him any less for being an atheist, just as I don't love my brother or father any less... but I do feel the loss of kinship between us.

I will continue to pray for him... that he finds the answers he seeks, and that God never stops working in his life.